I know many of you read the headline and have already begun formulating the precise manner in which you will bombard me with tons of argumentative points and comments of how ridiculous this notion is.
However, I ask that you take the time to fully read through this piece, and understand that I’m not speaking of communication as a whole, or all forms or modes of communication. I’m simply speaking of those lost art forms of “small talk” and “informal banter” that once allowed us to find common ground and get to know each other just enough to feel comfortable in sharing meaningful dialogue. I truly feel that our use of technology has crippled this very important part of our communication process.
From time to time I teach communication courses or I’m asked to conduct workshops and presentations, and the silence I experience on college campuses truly wrecks my nerves!
On each campus I visit, students walk aimless abound and are completely entrapped in their technological bubbles. They’re either robotically moving forward with their heads down, peering at their hand-held device, or floating along to the sounds in their earbuds. Rarely do you see a group of students huddled together, laughing and chatting about the experiences they had the night before, or the great game they watched on television yesterday. Instead, they have already posted these comments or feelings to some online social network.
At any given moment you can walk into a college classroom, and—if blindfolded—could not tell if three or 300 students are occupying the seats because absolutely no interaction is taking place. Some students sit next to classmates for entire semesters without knowing their names.
And this glitch is not unique to Millennials or Generation Y either. Baby-boomers and other more seasoned generations cling to their technological teethers just as much. The days of asking, “How are the kids?” or sharing photos before meetings are long gone. Working class folks yearn for breaks before or between meetings so they can catch up on emails or “pretend” to look executive while snooping through Facebook posts.
What we fail to realize is that simple, verbal, face-to-face message exchanges are the foundations for much of our effective communication.
In the courses that I teach, as an icebreaker on the first day of class I often give extra points for each respective classmate that students can name. Assuming I will one day re-issue those much needed extra points, most students go out of their way to introduce themselves and get know their classmates. By the end of the semester, many of them have become great friends and share notes, form study groups, or simply hang out on campus together.
In business, many of the greatest deals and partnerships ever orchestrated have begun with a simple, “How’s it going?”
And I won’t dare expound on the importance that simple chatting bears on formulating intimate or personal relationships… That’s for a totally different post!
Please do not misunderstand my point. In most instances, technology has allowed us to greatly enhance our communication abilities. And the ability to effectively communicate is a skill that has been valued since the beginnings of human existence. All I’m simply saying is that the communication process still has to begin somewhere…
So please ditch the technology long enough to say, “Hi!”
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